Pinholes

by Andrew J. Shoup

What if we’re all just a bunch of pinholes?

Now, note that I’m saying “pinholes,” not “pinheads.” Granted, there are probably a few pinheads out there. Well, no. I take that back. We’re all pinholes. Now, perhaps, there’s a few who are “perceived” to be pinheads. Okay, just kidding.

Seriously though, what if we’re like pinholes in black poster board? On one side of the poster board is a bright light. And on the other side is darkness.

The first thing you’ll probably notice is that the light from the light side pierces through each pinhole into the darkness on the other side. But did you notice that the dark from the dark side doesn’t pierce through each pinhole into the lightness on the other side? It seems to be a one way thing. Interesting.

So, observing this, wouldn’t it be a safe assumption that each pinhole’s job, or function, or purpose, is to allow the light to pass through from the one side and out into the other side?

Just for fun, let’s say that it is. The main purpose of a pinhole, in fact, all pinholes, is to allow light to pass through. Now, if we’re to fulfill our purpose, we’d need to stay open and clear to allow as much light as possible to pass through. Y’know, not get clogged up with negativity or fear-stuff like worry, doubt, anger, sadness, pain, deception, etc. And stay open and clear with positivity or love-stuff like happiness, excitement, confidence, joy, feeling good, truth, etc.

But that doesn’t mean that our goal should be to try and outdo other pinholes. This isn’t a competition. Or that we should somehow try to diminish other pinholes’ light, so that our light might appear brighter. Or if we were to somehow get the idea that the light is only for a select privileged few pinholes. Now that’s just crazy talk.

Clearly, the light simply shines. No preferences. No agendas. No judgements. No demands. It’s just fulfilling its purpose…to “illuminate.”

Since it could be said that each pinhole’s purpose is also to “illuminate,” it would benefit ALL pinholes to not only be open and clear individually, but help others to be open and clear as well. The more “illumination,” the more the fulfillment of the collective purpose…to “illuminate.”

Having said that though, we should keep in mind that although all pinholes may appear similar from a distance, each one is unique. Each one allows a certain amount of light to pass through, appropriate for it. And each one allows a certain quality of light to pass through, as only it can do. So, what may be the best way to stay open and clear for one, may not be the best way for another.

But make no mistake. Each pinhole, in its own uniqueness, is equally important to the collective purpose of allowing the light to pass through, or…to “illuminate.”

Have fun with your light. 

Enjoying the Ride

by Andrew J. Shoup

Okay, so I had this dream last night.

From what I remember, I’m riding in the back seat of this car. Everything’s fine. I’m just enjoying the ride.

Then, suddenly I notice that no one is driving. And I’m the only one in the car. Immediately, I start to panic. And just as immediately, I have the overwhelming feeling of “Oh God, here I go again!” Like I’ve done this before and I can’t believe I’m doing it again. Once again, I’ve gotten in the car and took off without getting in the driver’s seat. Don’t ask me how. In the dream, I’m just there in the car. I don’t recall anything before that.

Of course, now I see that there are cars everywhere, like I’m on a major interstate. And I’m so worried about hitting someone or going off the road.

In my state of panic, I scramble to climb over the seat. All I know is that I’ve got to get in the driver’s seat and get control of the vehicle. All the while, I’m thinking what an idiot I am. I have to get control before I run into someone. Yet, at the same time, I’m wondering why I haven’t already hit someone or run off the road.

Turns out that I’ve had this dream before. And this is usually about the time that I wake up. Or, as this time, I manage to get in the driver’s seat to take control. But the steering wheel seems to be sluggish or non-responsive. Or the breaks don’t seem to be working properly. And my panic continues.

As I recall similar dreams, there are a few variations. But you know how dreams are, sometimes they’re difficult to describe and maintain any sense. So, for the sake of this article, I’ll try to keep it simple.

What these dreams always have in common are the “feelings.” Starting off with the feeling that everything’s fine, just enjoying the ride – joy and contentment. Then, as I realize that no one is driving, several feelings arise. Initially, panic – What’s going on? How can this be? What do I do? Then, frustration and disappointment (with myself) – I can’t believe you’re doing this again. You’re supposed to be in control. Then, fear and guilt – What if I hit someone or go off the road or cause a major crash and people get hurt?

Now, here’s the interesting thing about this dream.

As I think back on it, it’s so easy to get caught up in the part where I realize that no one is driving and panic breaks out, followed by all the other emotions. It’s so easy to get caught up in this, that I totally overlook the beginning of the dream. Remember, in the beginning, everything is fine and I’m just “enjoying the ride.” The issue of there being no one in the driver’s seat is no issue at all…until I notice it and make it one.

There are probably several ways to interpret this. But here’s what I’ve landed on.

Perhaps, there are times when I just get in the way of my own life. Y’know, everything will be going along just fine. Then “I“ start interfering.

Maybe I don’t need to take control of everything. Maybe some things just…work. Maybe some things don’t need me to “control” them, or “organize” them, or “shape” them. In fact, maybe some things work better without my help.

To take it a step further, maybe some things are “designed” to work without my conscious participation, so that I may focus my attention elsewhere. Such as simply being in the moment and enjoying the ride.

The Arranger of the Dots

"A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of la Grande Jatte"

by Andrew J. Shoup

I recently took a little trip to Chicago and visited The Art Institute. I’d been wanting to do that for a long time. And I’m so glad that I finally did. If you’re interested, you can check out my little Chicago travel video here.

More than anything, I wanted to see the Impressionists’ paintings. In particular, a postimpressionist, Georges Seurat’s “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.” For those of you who aren’t necessarily into art appreciation so much, you might remember this from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Or, if you’re into Broadway Theater, you might recall “Sunday in the Park with George,” a musical based on Georges Seurat and this painting. I believe it originally starred Mandy Patinkin and Bernadette Peters.

Close-up view.

This painting was created using a particular technique developed by Georges Seurat, inspired by the Impressionists. It was later named Divisionism or Pointillism.

Basically, it incorporates the use of tiny, precise brush strokes (or dots).

For example, you put a yellow dot next to a blue dot and when you observe them from a distance, they appear to be a single green dot. Your eye blends them together, creating the illusion.

Similarly, a number of dots placed close together create the illusion of a darker color, while the same dots placed further apart create the illusion of a lighter color.

Also, a number of dots placed close together can create the illusion of a denser, more solid thing, while dots placed further apart can create the illusion of something less solid, less dense.

It’s all up to the artist – the arranger of the dots. They can use the dots however they see fit to create whatever image they like.

Now, what if we relate this to “us” and our life experiences? There has been all kinds of talk over the years about how everything is made up of “energy.” Molecules, atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, etc. All these tiny building blocks, vibrating at various frequencies, creating the illusion of matter.

In Seurat’s painting, the dog is created with dots of paint. The man lying on the grass, smoking his pipe is created with dots of paint. The grass is created with dots of paint. The water is created with dots of paint. The boats are created with dots of paint. The trees are created with dots of paint. The woman with the umbrella is created with dots of paint. Everything in this image is nothing more than dots of paint arranged in such a way as to create the “appearance” of something…a dog, a man, a pipe, grass, water, a boat, a tree, a woman, an umbrella, etc.

What if what we call “reality” is no different? The grass beneath our feet is simply dots of energy. The water we drink is dots of energy. The air we breathe is dots of energy. The tree in the backyard is dots of energy. Our desk at work is dots of energy. The car we drive, the house we live in, everything we perceive is dots of energy. All vibrating at different frequencies to create the “appearance” of this or that. Just as dots of paint are arranged in different ways to create the “appearance” of this or that.

Including our bodies. What we often think of as “ourselves” are really just dots of energy. And if that’s true, if our physical bodies are just dots of energy along with everything else…then who is reading this? Who is understanding this or not understanding this or trying to understand this?

What if the “who” is…the arranger of the dots? That’s right. What if you and me, all of us, are the arranger of the dots?

What if, like Seurat, we simply arrange our dots however we see fit to create whatever images we choose? And we do this and have done this all throughout our life experience (our painting), whether we’ve realized it or not?

Perhaps we arrange our dots by way of our thoughts and feelings, through the focus of our attention, and by repetition. Much as an artist does when painting a canvas.

Although my analogy is related to Pointillism here, it could easily be any style of painting. When you get right down to it, a painting is just paint arranged in some way to create an appearance to experience. As, perhaps, reality is just energy arranged in some way to create an appearance to experience.

Well, it’s something to think about. Have fun with your dots. 

What I Learned from Groundhog Day

by Andrew J. Shoup

(Spoiler Alert: If you’ve never seen this movie, see it before you read this. I certainly don’t want to ruin it for you.)

Groundhog Day has become one of my all-time favorite films. It is the quintessential Bill Murray movie. Not only is it hilarious, but it is romantic, heartwarming, and an inspirational testament to life.

It’s one of those movies that as I’m surfing channels, if I stumble upon it, I have to stop and watch. Although it was made in 1993, it still holds up today.

Written by Danny Rubin and Harold Ramis, and directed by Harold Ramis (former fellow GhostBuster and Stripes costar), it’s a wonderful story about a man (Phil Connors) reliving the same day over and over again.

At first, he’s perplexed and disillusioned. Then frustrated with no escape. Then he realizes the advantages of there being no consequences and lives it up for a while, indulging in his ego’s desires.

But that eventually loses its appeal and he turns to his love interest, Rita (Andie MacDowell). There is a wonderful sequence set against Ray Charles’s “You Don’t Know Me.” But try as he may to “make” her fall for him, he fails again and again.

Of course, humor is all around in the way that only Bill Murray can deliver it. But what’s truly great is that, ultimately, he lands on a life of creativity, benevolence, and love.

One of my favorite scenes is when he’s sitting alone in a diner and he hears some classical piano playing on a radio. By the look on his face, he’s enjoying it. And he looks around, as if wanting to share it with someone. Next thing, you see him taking piano lessons. How cool is that?

A particularly touching sequence is when he attempts to help an elderly homeless man, whom he previously ignored.

And when he finally, truly connects with Rita in the ice sculpture scene, it’s…magical.

Sure, it’s a fun romantic comedy. But it’s so much more than that.

I remember reading some time ago about the idea of becoming “the next greatest version of the grandest vision we ever held about ourself.” And in this story, the opportunities in a single day present themselves over and over again, for this guy to continually become that. And as he does, he finally gets his heart’s desire…naturally…just because of what he has become.

What’s really cool, if you think about it, is that we have these opportunities every day. I kinda like to think that we create opportunities for ourselves, every day, to be “the next greatest version of the grandest vision we ever held about ourself.”

So, here’s what I’ve learned.

We all have those times when we feel stuck. We find ourselves doing the same things over and over again. Faced with the same types of situations over and over again. Responding the same way over and over again.

But, and here’s where it gets interesting, if we change our response just once, to one thing, how might everything start to change? Not just around us, but within us as well.

Happy Groundhog Day!

All I Need is a Bowl, a Spoon, and an Apple Dumpling…and Some Milk

by Andrew J. Shoup

I still remember the cold winter days, when I was a kid, outside playing in the snow. I’d be out for hours building snowmen, forts, or sledding down the slope of the backyard, being sure to miss the trunk of the maple tree at the end. Except for that one time when I didn’t miss it. How embarrassing.

But what I also remember about those winter days is coming in from the cold to find my mom making apple dumplings. The smell of the apples and cinnamon, the kitchen in disarray with flour here and there, newspaper spread out on the table with a huge pile of apple skin peelings on it. This was a big deal in our house. Apple dumplings weren’t a dessert for us. They were a meal. A delicacy.

I’d sit there on an old wooden stool, bowl in front of me, spoon in hand, milk at the ready. In our household, the tradition was a hot out of the oven apple dumpling, in a bowl, with cold milk poured over the top. No plain apple dumplings. No apple dumplings a la mode—that would make it dessert. Somehow, milk turned it into a meal. And what a meal it was. These things were huge. Just one was all it took to fill you up.

Little did I know at the time, that years later, I would write a children’s book involving apple dumplings. “Andy & Elmer’s Apple Dumpling Adventure”, although having “apple dumplings” in the title and a wonderful recipe in the back, isn’t so much about apple dumplings, as it is about how we relate to each other.

I was commissioned by the Rotary Club of Fairborn to write and illustrate a children’s book that would convey a set of tenets that Rotarians live by called “The Four-Way Test.” Basically, it asks four simple questions.

The Four-Way Test

Of the things we think, say or do:

1. Is it the TRUTH?

2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?

3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

At first, I had no idea how to do this. But it seemed like a great opportunity and such a worthwhile thing to put into a children’s book. Actually, the credit for the idea to put the Four-Way Test into a children’s book goes to Dottie Meade, a friend who was a member of the Rotary Club of Fairborn.

One thing that I didn’t want the book to do was to come off as preachy. That could have been very easy to do. So, the story kinda took on an “entrepreneurial” flavor. It conveys the Four-Way test by example. It became a story about a boy who starts an apple dumpling business. And along the way, the Four-Way Test guides him in his dealings and relationships with others.

Andy, of course, is loosely based on me—red hair, glasses, and all. Elmer is based on a next door neighbor I had growing up. Elmer and Loni Mossbarger were an elderly couple that lived next door to us. As a kid, I often went over there to play, draw, watch TV, and eat cheese curls. It was kinda like having an extra set of grandparents next door. And, of course, the apple dumplings came from my mom.

Somehow, everything came together. And over the past few years, “Andy & Elmer’s Apple Dumpling Adventure” has turned into a very successful Rotary Literacy Project. Rotary Clubs across the U.S. and beyond have taken on the project. And many have even made it their Annual Literacy Project. Basically, what clubs do is take the books into their local schools at about the second or third grade level, read the story, talk about Rotary and the Four-Way Test, and give books and bookmarks to the kids. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

In fact, the project kinda mimics the theme of “Andy & Elmer” and, in my opinion, has become a testament to the Four-Way Test, itself.

A “Hereafter” for the Here and Now

by Andrew J. Shoup

I have two words for the film, “Hereafter.” Awe-inspiring. Okay, technically, it’s one word, hyphenated. Anyway, I really enjoyed this film. In fact, I saw it twice. And I enjoyed it just as much the second time, if not more. When you see a film the second time, you get to catch some of the little things that maybe you missed the first time around. You know, the little nuances—a character’s expression, a tone of voice, something in the background of a scene.

I didn’t really know what to expect in “Hereafter”. I mean, I saw the trailer, but I really wasn’t sure how they were going to treat the subject matter. Everyone has their own ideas about death. From “lights out, that’s the end” to “eternal bliss” to “reincarnation.” Ideas stem from religions, cultures, societies, science, etc. But regardless of our beliefs, it is one thing that we all have in common. As Marie points out in the film, it’s something that we are all going to experience.

At first, I was hoping to gain some insight into the Hereafter. Something I hadn’t seen or heard about before. But I was delightfully surprised to find that “Hereafter” isn’t so much about the Hereafter as it is about how the Hereafter affects us in the “Here and Now”. Does that make sense? Although it hints at individual experiences of what happens after death, it’s really more about life. And I think that’s what captivated me most.

This film’s got Clint Eastwood written all over it. The man knows how to tell a story. And it’s the simple things. Y’know, like capturing the pauses. The quiet moments. So much of the time, those are the most telling…most revealing…most important…most emotion evoking scenes in a film. And, in my opinion, Clint Eastwood is a master at this. He also knows the value of a simple melody in the background. Anyone who’s ever seen “The Bridges of Madison County” will know what I’m talking about. That theme still haunts me (in a good way) to this day. In fact, there were moments in “Hereafter” that reminded me of “Bridges”. Those moments made me smile.

Matt Damon is perfect as George. As much as I’ve enjoyed him in other films (he can pretty much do anything), it was refreshing to see him here. Kind of a quiet, caring, common man who just wants a normal life. The word “admirable” also springs to mind. You really connect with him. As you do with Marie, played by Cecile De France. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her before. But she is, in a single word…captivating. And Frankie and George McLaren as the twin boys are wonderful. In fact, each of the actors gets their moment to shine (including Bryce Dallas Howard). I don’t know if that’s because of the story, itself, or Eastwood’s directing or what, exactly. But it’s very cool.

“Hereafter” is filled with wonderful serendipitous moments to savor. It is one of those films that kinda sticks with you, afterward. As you ponder over it. It’s an honest, thought provoking, emotion provoking, and, ultimately, optimistic view on life, and death.

“Illusions” in My Back Pocket

by Andrew J. Shoup

For me, there is one book that, throughout my life, I keep being drawn back to. It’s the one book that I always have a copy of. In fact, I’ve owned several copies over the years, replacing them as I’ve loaned them out to friends, lost them, or have simply worn them out to where the binding no longer keeps the tattered pages intact.

“Illusions” is an old friend. A companion of sorts. At times when I feel down or as though I’ve lost my way, it reminds me of what I’ve forgotten. In moments of feeling weak or having no control in my life, it reminds me that I have all the power, all the control. On days when I take myself or a situation too seriously, it reminds me to laugh at it all.

I was introduced to “Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (it’s proper title) by my mom when I was around sixteen years old. And it has been a great source of inspiration for me ever since. It’s one of those books where every time you read it, you get something new out of it. I love that.

Written by Richard Bach, the author of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” as well as numerous other novels, “Illusions” plays with the ongoing questions about life. Why are we here? What are we doing? What’s the point? And it offers up ideas that are truly…inspiring.

I kinda think of “Illusions” as being akin to “The Secret.” and other Law of Attraction books. The Law of Attraction, simply put, is the idea that we each create our life experience through our thoughts and feelings. Basically, what we think about and feel about, we bring about.

But “Illusions” isn’t a “how to” book. Nor is it a “self-help” book or “personal growth” book. It is a novel in every sense of the word. A story that takes place in farmers’ fields across the midwest, where two individuals (Richard and Donald Shimoda) meet and share a unique connection. It’s filled with insights and ideas about life.

I remember as I watched the DVD of “The Secret” and later listened to the audio book, I couldn’t help but think of “Illusions”. There’s even mention of a young man manifesting a feather, which is a key scene in “Illusions” when Richard learns the art of magnetizing from Donald in Em & Edna’s Cafe.

The novel is also filled with delicious bits of wisdom from “The Messiah’s Handbook,” spread throughout the pages.

“Each person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”

“The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, ‘I’ve got responsibilities.’”

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.”

I keep waiting for the movie to come out. But no such luck. I saw something awhile back about a foreign film version, but never heard anything again. Surely, if there was ever a time to do this novel justice in a film, it would be now. I mean, the image of a man swimming in the earth should be a piece of cake for today’s special effects wizards. And I’m thinkin’ Clint Eastwood would bring  a quiet honesty and sincerity as director. Blacken up George Clooney’s hair, add a full beard, and, with those eyes, you got a perfect Donald Shimoda. Matt Damon as Richard, and you got a blockbuster. And Oscars all the way around. But more than that, you will have reached an even broader audience with this timeless classic and its life-altering ideas. So, Clint, George, and Matt, call Richard and let’s make it happen.

The back cover states “More than a great national best seller. A great way of looking at life.”  I concur. My heartfelt “thank you” goes out to Richard Bach.

I imagine myself sitting on a park bench when I’m 102, vaporizing clouds just for the fun of it with a worn out, falling apart copy of “Illusions” in my back pocket.

Becoming a “Real” Author

by Andrew J. Shoup

Okay. First off, let me just say that I am totally new to blogging. So, I’m not quite sure how this is gonna go. But, hopefully, I’ll find my voice and, perhaps, this will turn into something mutually worthwhile for those of you reading this and me.

I am a Graphic Designer for an advertising agency. But, on the side I write and illustrate children’s books. In fact, a few years ago, I decided to start a little publishing company called TokoBooks.

I started writing children’s stories, oh, about twenty-two years ago. God, that sounds like a long time. But, as I recall, it was 1988 when I registered my first copyright. It was for a story titled “Samuel Oliver’s Playground.”

I enjoyed the process so much that I did another story…and another…and another…and another. And then I tried to get published. I’d write the manuscript, write the cover letter, and format everything, you know, like all the books on “how to get published” said to do. And I’d make rough drawings of kinda what I thought the illustrations might look like. Then I’d create little mockups of the books and send them out to publishers and wait…and wait…and wait…and wait. And after getting a two sentence rejection in a form letter some months later, I’d go through the process again…and again…and again…and again.

Of course, everyone who’s ever tried to get published surely knows what this is like all too well. Okay, maybe not everyone. But, I would imagine quite a few. Nevertheless, I kept getting ideas, so I kept writing stories and making little mockups. It was fun. And it was worthwhile…to me.

So, over time, I just accumulated a number of little books that sat in a portfolio in a closet. Then, one year around the holidays, I pulled out one of the books and dusted it off. It had a holiday theme and I thought, “How about I just make a bunch of these and give them out to people?” Surely, this is better than it sitting in a closet, never to be read by anyone. So, I did. And my little mini-publishig empire was established. Watch your backs, Madison Avenue.

The books were very well received. And every year after that, I chose a book from my arsenal, made copies, and gave them away. Often, accompanied with chocolate chip cookies or apple dumplings (there’s two more posts for another time). Needless to say, this kinda became my “thing.” Something I was known for. I liked that.

It was quite some time before the thought hit me. “You know, why don’t you just publish one of your books, yourself?” Hmmm. Self publishing. But that was taboo. Some even called it “vanity” publishing. What would people think? He’s not a “real” author. He’s not a “real” illustrator. Who’s he kidding? He couldn’t find a “real” publisher, so he had to pay to get a book published. Then, I thought, “So what?”

If you got an idea that you want to share. To put out there. What does it matter “how” you get it out there?

About a year later and a considerably slimmer bank account later, TokoBooks was born.